You Know You Are in Chile When…

You know you are in Chile when…

…as a greeting you kiss friends, acquaintances, and people you are meeting for the first time on the check; well, actually, it is more of a kiss in the air past your check, as your cheeks touch.  

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….in an open market, you can purchase food that you have never seen before. 

..the coffee is locked in the grocery store behind glass, and you have to ask a salesperson for assistance to purchase it. It sort of reminds me of razor blades at CVS. Who is stealing just razor blades and coffee?

…you see “Wohoo” instead of “Wahoo” and “Ja, Ja” instead of “Ha Ha” in texts. For some reason, both of these crack me up to read. Clarification-Chileans do not text. They Whatsapp.

…you go out to dinner and no one is there, but have to remind yourself that this does not mean the restaurant is lousy because dinner for Chileans is not until 9 pm or later. 

…you pull into an outdoor parking lot and have to pay someone the equivalent of a dollar to “watch” your car for you even if you are just going to the bank for five minutes.

…you are in a playground and adults are “playing” on the structures. Actually, there are adult exercise equipment at nearly every playground. Simultaneously, adults are smoking on the playgrounds in close proximity. Apparently, Chileans are into being healthy but just not too healthy.

…you order juice, and it is always freshly squeezed.

…you realize that nobody is ever giving you a dirty look about sitting next to your noisy kids in a nice restaurant. Chileans love kids. My daughter spilled an entire Pisco sour on a new Chilean friend, who has no kids, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Mia.” And he meant it. Also, many restaurants have playgrounds, which just encourages everyone to bring their kids and stay late. I mean shouldn’t kids be staying up past 10 pm, playing on climbing walls with new friends while their parents have just one more drink?

…every block you see has a playground and every playground has structures that I have not seen since I was in elementary school. I still cannot get past the fact that playgrounds around here seem dangerous, really dangerous to me. There are metal slides, actual metal see-saws, and tilt a whirl rides where kids pile on and run while pushing kids round and round. Our own community playground has a metal trampoline. It is portable and has no zipped safety netting on the side. The kids move it all over the playground including on the soccer pitch, while other kids are playing. I can actually see my brother’s horrified face as he reads this. Do not worry, Zete, my kids can only sit on this trampoline unless I am out there with them. 

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…you tell your child to meet you at the elementary school playground and you have to be more specific, much more specific. There are four playgrounds in the lower school. Max and Mia do not even have recess on the same playground; they also do not see each other all day. The playgrounds at school are definitely safer than others; the tall monkey bars and metal slides are for the older elementary children. 

…students look you in the eye in the hallway and greet you warmly. What is the deal in the States? I did not realize how irritating it is to constantly teach kids how to interact with adults. Latin kids are so warm and personable, like all of them.

…daily pollution level is measured in cigarette equivalents. Mom, do not worry, the air quality is pretty good in Lo Barnechea.

…you no longer have to take the garbage out. Our driveway is short. Garbage pick-up is every few days; it is nice to come home and just see empty cans.

…it is 3:30 pm and people get up and leave in the middle of school meetings. Afterall, it is Chilean law that your employer cannot ask you to stay beyond your contract hours. Hasta Luego, it  is time to play in the park.